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| I always feel like I have this expiration date on me in regards to people. Like, I must be getting close to expire. I am becoming the spoiled milk in this friendship. |
when you don't have fire in your
bones while also wondering if a friend is giving up on you
Because we are a lot alike.
"I've been in this mellow stage with no real fire in bones." That's what I twitted today. I get used to the fire. And right now, I'm living all normal-like without any real burn in my belly.
We need the in-between days, the "I feel different" days. The days of where you don't really know what God is up too and you are fine with it.
I've been feeling resigned about things in life, in politics and government, relationships, or such. Resigned to the fact, everything is in somebody hands and I don't really know what or if I can change anything at all.
So I'm mellow.
I don't rightly know what that's all about other than I'm just coasting here. And I'm thinking we all need coasting days to catch our breath, to get perspective, or just too stinking, be.
But when things get different, I worry like shit. Maybe that's me, the real me?
All this moving around when I grew up, didn't do that to me. It's just knowing who I am, really knowing who I am and afraid others will find me out. When they know, it is over.
I can't think of better Jesus folk than those who know and don't hightail it out of here. They could wag a finger of blame and it will be true.
But they see and they know themselves too. There's something to that humbling part that makes a friendship, brotherhood, a relationship truer and stronger.
So I laugh at my insecurities and all my ramblings, because deep down, there are more important things than fire bones.
Some days, it's enough to know you don't have dates stamped on your forehead. That you have friends or brothers who know you and are humble enough to accept that.
Today would be one of those days. I hope so.
But they see and they know themselves too. There's something to that humbling part that makes a friendship, brotherhood, a relationship truer and stronger.
So I laugh at my insecurities and all my ramblings, because deep down, there are more important things than fire bones.
Some days, it's enough to know you don't have dates stamped on your forehead. That you have friends or brothers who know you and are humble enough to accept that.
Today would be one of those days. I hope so.
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| Take a sip and let your mind rest for a seconds. |
Updated,
Barry.
